My son is 18 years old and is about to take the college entrance exam, but he is not interested in studying at all.
What's more worrying is that he especially hates his father, and he talks about fighting and killing all day long, even threatening to kill his father to make him happy. As a mom, I am especially anxious and I really don't know how to deal with it.
Every time father and son met, they would fight.
The son not only cursed his father, but also hit him.
What should we parents do when facing such a child? My son has been in boarding school for his three years of high school, and he has completely changed in those three years.
No longer the simple kid I was in middle school!
Dear Parents and Friends: Hello! I am the psychological respondent Waiting for the flowers to bloom!
From your description, I can feel your anxiety and worry. Why can't your child know better and study well before the exams to get a good college degree? The reason why your child doesn't care may be because he feels that studying is not for himself but for his parents. We parents all want our children to get into a good university and have a good job in the future, which is for the children's good, but will the children feel in their heart that we are trying to save face for ourselves?
Everyone has their own subject in life, and whoever is responsible for the outcome, that's who's subject it is.For example, learning is the child's own business and he has to take responsibility for his own life. Maybe you will not think so when you read this and even want to refute me. Children and parents are a community of destiny, how can we not worry if he is not doing well? But if we just keep pushing, can the child really listen?
Not only does your child not listen to you, but he may also deliberately go against you. If you tell him to study hard, he won't; if you want him to get into a good university, he may deliberately fail the exam.Children feel they have no control over their own lives, so they rebel in this "self-destructive" way.
What exactly is the conflict between the child and his father? You said the child became like this because he lived in school for three years. How often did he come home? Did you notice anything unusual when he came home? How was his relationship with his father before he went to school? When did the relationship between father and son start to deteriorate? If you noticed the beginning, why did you wait until just before the college entrance exams to solve the problem? Fathers are usually the role models for their children, you need to find out if there is any misunderstanding.
In the three years that your child has lived in school, have you approached the teachers to find out how he is doing in school? Has he adapted to school life? Has he been bullied? There must be a reason why your child has no hostility towards you but hates his father so much. I suggest you talk to your child more often. Although it is said that "sharpening the spear in the battlefield is not fast enough", but learning is not an overnight thing, it is more important to help the child to solve the problem in his heart first!
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