I walked hand in hand with her for three years, she came from a Muslim family and had never been attracted to girls before she met me.
However, last December, we broke up due to a heated argument, and after four months of separation, we slowly reconnected as friends. I could never let go of her, and she had a place for me in her heart, but the feelings were just not as strong as before.
In any case, she is reluctant to get back together because her family has been arranging frequent blind dates for her lately. It is difficult to accept homosexuality in the Muslim tradition, and she thinks we don't see a future.
But I genuinely don't want to give up.
What can I do to turn her mind around and in turn influence her family's opinion?
The tough side of gay love is thatThere are many misconceptions, stigmatization and even prejudice and discrimination against such relationships in society at large.The
How you and she cope with pressure from the outside world in addition to the common couple friction that comes with being in a relationship is a hurdle you can't get around.
You said.
I really don't want to give up.This means that you still love her deeply. Whether or not you are now living as friends or your feelings have faded, you know in your heart that "I can't let go of her, and she has me in her heart".
So how do you face the relationship? And what are some ways to help you build up the courage to deal with the challenges?
I'd like to share some ideas from the following perspectives that I hope will open your mind and bring some inspiration:
1. Whether the root cause of last December's fight was truly resolved
Breakups often have a trigger, but it's the longstanding conflicts that build up behind the scenes that make the difference.
After three years together, you have long been familiar with each other's values, communication styles, and modes of getting along.
If the knot is unresolved, it can be a stumbling block to future relationships, regardless of outside pressures.
So it's critical that there has been honest communication and consensus.
2. review or co-create ways to cope with stress and try to invite her to join in
The root cause of the quarrel may lie in her inability to withstand worldly pressures. This type of problem is not only found in homosexual relationships, but also in heterosexual ones.Age difference, religious difference, ethnic difference or common "miscegenation"It's also very common.
One of the keys to a love that can move into the future is for both people to develop effective mechanisms for coping with outside pressures together.
Thinking back, what pressures have you faced over the three years and how have you resolved them?
For example, you mentioned that she hadn't liked girls before, so how did she break through the heteronormative mainstream culture and bravely walk with you for three years?
Putting these experiences to good use can help you refine your exclusive coping strategies. It's not easy, but it's unique.
3. Picture a future that you aspire to together, and go all out, even if it doesn't work out, you won't have any regrets.
She's afraid there's no future.
Have you thought about what you want your future to look like?
We all know that changing others is nearly impossible, but we can choose the future we want and act on it.
It is destined to be a long journey, are you willing to take the first brave step for this love?
The more concrete this future is, the better, and it's best to visualize it, like a picture unfolding before your eyes, for example:
You'll settle in a city you both like, like Kunming.living space), to stay together in old age.time dimension), have a cozy house and a cute cat together (emotional ties), you work in construction (Career and Economic Foundation), she opened the flower store of her dreams (Personal Value Realization), swim and work out together in their spare time (common interest) ......Confirm with her if this is the same future she aspires to?You start by taking action and realizing small steps, like getting a pet together, to make her feel like the future isn't out of reach.Of course, there may be repetitions and hesitations during the process, so you have to make up your mind first, and even if the relationship ends up being fruitless, you won't regret what you have done.Share above.
May all lovers be blessed, and those that are blessed have true love. Same-sex love, like any love, deserves respect and blessings.
Bless you.
