I understand that when people around me are doing well, I'm genuinely happy for them. But to be honest, I still get jealous of other people from time to time, and this emotion makes me especially hate myself and I really don't know what to do about it.
Hello my friend! I'll start by giving you a warm hug as I see you are struggling with this jealousy. Your feelings of jealousy often stem from feeling that others are better off than you, something I've experienced in the past.
I recently read a book called Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist, and in it there is a chapter on life coordinates, which is how we deal with relationships. It is roughly divided into four types:
1. Hello, I'm good - This is a healthy mindset where both parties recognize the value of each other.
2. Hello, I'm not good - tends to give rise to low self-esteem and envy.
3. you're bad, I'm good - may carry a sense of superiority, but it's not healthy either.
4. You're bad, I'm bad - it's a negative cycle.
When you realize that others are doing better than you, jealousy is often because you are thinking, "Why can they do it and I can't?" But don't forget that others may have put a lot of sweat behind their accomplishments today, we just don't see it.
You can make someone else's success your own goal to strive for, so that jealousy can be turned into motivation that pushes you to be better. This is actually the key step in moving from jealousy to envy.
Truth be told, there is only a thin line between jealousy and envy. When you look at someone else's accomplishments with envy, it turns into a good thing that inspires you to grow.
I truly hope that you find a solution to the problems you are now facing soon. These are some of the suggestions I can think of and I hope they inspire you. I am the answerer learning well everyday.
The world and I are rooting for you on your journey of mental growth. Good luck and cheers!
