During the practice week, we didn't have to go to class, but went to do research tasks. Suddenly the school notified us that we had to take a physical test, so the dormitory head suggested that we go and ask the physical education teacher for a leave of absence, saying that otherwise it would look as if they were not serious about their work.
I was so confused that I couldn't help but ask why, but it turned out that the head of the dormitory and the roommate in the opposite bed just laughed and didn't answer, and looked at me like I was looking at a fool, which made me especially angry.
This is not the first time.
When I was assigned tasks during the practice week, I would occasionally ask them if I had any questions, but I was always told that I hadn't read the group messages carefully. But I obviously read the group chat carefully, but every time I was labeled as not being careful, so I don't dare to ask more questions now.
But they ask others when they have questions themselves! My first time doing this kind of task, I was a bit confused, so I asked a bit more, just trying to do a better job, so why should I be accused of not taking it seriously? The heart is especially stifled.
Later, the dormitory head even said to my face, "Is it a matter of emotional intelligence or intelligence", I was even more confused, is it really my fault?
Hello, friend:
I can sense from your description that the friction between you and your roommate has caused you a bit of self-doubt, as if the problem is with yourself.
"The head of the dormitory said to go on vacation or it would look like they weren't serious", and anyone would ask more about why at a time like this. They should have made the message clear and had a responsibility to explain themselves, but instead of giving the full message, they look at you with that mocking look that makes you angry and ashamed. What I'm curious about, though, is how did you respond? Did you silently endure the aggravation, or did you just dislike them, or did you sulk and not dare to say anything yourself?
You said that this has happened more than once, and that every time you asked them about a problem with a practice week assignment, you were always disliked for not reading the group's messages. You have been criticized so much that you are now afraid to ask questions, worrying that you will be treated the same way next time. Moreover, you feel that their comments are not objective at all, which makes you feel very uncomfortable.
The head of the dormitory also openly questioned your emotional or intellectual intelligence, which added to the self-doubt that "there is something really wrong with me".
It's really heartbreaking to read what you've been through. Anyone would be unhappy to meet this kind of roommate. But after the emotions have calmed down, we can think about it calmly:
1. Are roommate reviews really reliable? Actually, the person who knows you best is you.
When you have a clear perception of yourself, other people's words won't affect you as much. With your emotions stabilized and your brain clearer, you may be able to find a good way to cope.
2. Learn to distinguish between sincere criticism and malicious put-downs.
3,Try to express your dissatisfaction. If you always laugh it off, people will think you are a bully. Say "I'm not comfortable with this" at the right time and draw a clear line in the sand.
4,Keep your distance if necessary.If people around you are always hurting you with their words, try to live apart if you can to minimize contact and protect yourself from further harm.
