I grew up listening to my parents fight, and that feeling follows me like a shadow, how can I get rid of it. When I go home and face them, the slightest thing can make my emotions fluctuate, and tonight they were arguing in their room, and I still heard ...... myself secretly crying in my room, so I really don't understand why this is the case.
Hi, I am the counselor Ms. Liu. I hope my sharing can help you:
[Wounds of the family of origin]Everyone carries a little bit of family of origin wound more or less, after all, no family is perfect. As children, we always love to fantasize that our parents are perfect, but the reality is often not that.
Nowadays, there are still many parents who have children but don't know how to raise and teach them. They themselves have never learned how to be a parent, but just follow the example of the previous generation, and the good and the bad have been passed down.
More to the point, they may not even realize the harmful effects of this pattern, not having the ability or awareness to cut off this generational cycle.
It's really quite scary to think about.
[Influence of family of origin]We can't choose whose family we are born into, and this sense of passivity makes us naturally a bit uneasy, becoming sensitive and caring. If we don't get enough psychological compensation while growing up, this effect can last for a long time and even bring about anger and self-blame.
Regardless of age, many people have to face the problem of their family of origin, and think about how to accept this can not choose the origin: I often hear people say that the happy family is similar, full of love and understanding, but the unhappy family has its own suffering. Your situation obviously belongs to the latter ......
But you were born into such a family. Faced with this kind of origin, you may feel that life is so difficult and ask yourself again and again why it's just me. That's why you want to avoid them and can't get along with them.
[How to change or block]We can think about these:
Recognize your family's marital patterns and do your best to "block" them so that bad patterns are not passed down from one generation to the next.
Don't get trapped by your family of origin, learn to find your own way.
Don't fall into the emotional trap to grow, to live, to work.
Satya says there are three births in man.
The first time is when the sperm and egg unite to activate the life force and create new life;
The second time is when the body comes out of the mother's womb into a pre-existing family that is all dependent on others to take care of it;
The third time is when we become our own masters.
In fact, the fault used to be theirs. From now on, you can be in charge of your own life and live the day you say so!
What can these teach you?
ε Bless you. I am in, the world and I love you.
