I'm in my second year of junior high school now, and when I think back to the first days of freshman year, everything was pretty normal. But ever since I experienced a relationship, my life has quietly changed. When I was in love, she always appeared by my side without notice, and I paid attention to her habitually. As time went on, however, I realized a problem that bothered me: I would involuntarily steal glances at someone in my field of vision! In class, it was obvious that the blackboard and the teacher were right in front of me, but my attention was always drawn to that person, and I couldn't help but glance that way. What's even more embarrassing is that the other person can also detect my gaze, which makes it especially hard for me. Moreover, since the end of that relationship, I would even unconsciously steal glances at passers-by when I walked on the street, completely unable to control myself, always feeling that I was a strange guy in the eyes of others.
As a junior in high school, I haven't been able to go to the hospital on my own and I'm afraid to open up to my parents about this. Is there any practical way to help me solve this problem? I sincerely hope that my teacher can give me some advice.
Classmate, I've read your question carefully~
Through your description, I can deeply feel your confusion and anxiety at the moment. Here are some reference suggestions, hope it can help you:
First of all, it's obvious that you're deeply invested in that relationship, so when she's not around, you subconsciously look for similar shadows in the crowd. This kind of uncontrollable peeking is actually subconsciously still missing the past company. But be careful, such behavior may make the person being stared at feel uncomfortable Oh.
You need to learn to separate reality from the subconscious. For example, going to class or walking is something that is happening, while stealing glances at others is more of a habitual subconscious action that you are not doing on purpose. Don't mistake imagination for reality and try to pull your attention back to the present moment.
Also, please be open to accept yourself as you are now, you're not doing anything wrong. It's normal to feel good about yourself during puberty, but learn to do the right thing at the right time, like focusing on your studies. Don't always label yourself as a "weirdo", that's just how you feel, not the truth. If I were by your side, I would love to pat you on the back and help you come back to reality.
You can enrich your life more and keep yourself busy through sports, hobbies or studies to reduce the time for rumination. If the problem persists for a long time or does not improve, it is recommended to drum up the courage to communicate with parents, or go to a regular hospital for counseling, which is nothing to be ashamed of. It is natural for emotions to sprout during adolescence, so it is good to look at it rationally.
I hope these suggestions inspire you. Believe in yourself, you will slowly get better and the world cares about you as much as we do~
