Those parents who scold their children every day and use them as a punching bag, why are they not prone to depression themselves instead? It is mainly because they vent all their negative emotions on their children. Their children become the outlet for their emotions and they scold them at will. When there is an outlet for their emotions, they are naturally less likely to accumulate depression. After venting, the parents may also say to the child, "I'm doing this for your own good", "No one cares about you except us" and so on. Children are the ones who trust their parents the most. Even if they have a lot of grievances and complaints, they can only keep them inside. Over time, the child's inner bad feelings are suppressed for too long, it will form a mental illness.
So, parents, please be merciful, don't use your children as a punching bag anymore, don't wait until you lose them to realize your regret!
Hello! Sending you a warm hug through the air first. I'm honored to read your plea for help and I hope that my sharing can give you some support and help. From your description, I can feel your anger towards parents who are always harsh and snapping at their children.
There is no parent who doesn't love his or her child, and there is no parent who doesn't want to be gentle with his or her child. Those emotionally immature parenting styles of parents are not intentional on their part, but because they were probably raised that way when they were growing up. They were desperately lacking love inside and didn't know how to love others. When they are not well aware of the trauma of their own upbringing, they bring that part of the trauma to their children.
The precondition for parents to be able to change is to first perceive that their tantrums at their children have nothing to do with their children, but that some of their children's behaviors have evoked unrecognized trauma from their early years. Parents need to take responsibility for their own emotions.
Of course, parents should not feel overly guilty or blame themselves for their occasional outbursts at their children. The prerequisite to being able to parent better is to first learn to be forgiving of yourself and accept your imperfections. See your own traumas and re-parent yourself in the process of parenting your child. Only when parents are able to openly accept that they have been traumatized will they put more energy into seeking change.
For children aged three and above, parents can prepare their children by informing them in advance of those points that tend to trigger their emotional outbursts. For example, avoid doing things that upset parents when they are angry. Parents can also choose to walk away in the moment of the emotion or relieve the emotion by taking deep breaths without being carried away by the anger.
Parents who are faced with a tendency to lose their temper in front of their children can make a conscious effort to keep an emotional diary to record the situations where their emotions get out of control, the needs behind them, and their own awareness. When they have a better understanding of their emotional state, they can better adjust themselves.
I'm Lilly the Answer House Little Ears, the world and I love you.
