If you have a defiant attachment, you may often ask yourself: what should I do with myself and how can I build healthy relationships with others?
This attachment pattern leaves you with internal conflict, so what is the reason behind it?
Hello dear friend! Sending you a warm hug!
? I'm Lightshed and I'm so glad to meet you here. From your message, I can sense that you have realized that your attachment pattern is of the anxiety-resistant type, which is awesome!
Kudos to you!
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Let's start with a brief rundown of the confusion you mentioned:
Anxious Resistant Attachment is a pattern of insecure attachment, often referred to as defiant attachment. It often manifests itself as ambivalence in the form of both a desire for intimacy and a fear of rejection, leaving you wavering in the relationship.
The causes behind ?
? This often has to do with the parenting style of the family of origin.
During childhood, if your parents' care is inconsistent or distracted, for example, they may be rambunctious or absent when you need support, you feel helpless. But then you instinctively want to be cared for, and over time, this pattern of both expectation and resistance develops.
? Most of this attachment pattern begins to form between 0 and 3 years of age
Attachment theory states that ages 0 to 3 are critical stages in the development of attachment patterns. At this time, parental presence is crucial - especially as the mother's presence gives the child a sense of security. When a child explores the world and looks back to see that his mother is still paying attention to him, he will feel more confident and slowly build a secure attachment.
? Attachment patterns are stable but not immutable
Transformation takes time and effort, but at its core is self-acceptance. You need to believe that you are worthy of being loved, and you can gradually increase your sense of security through mental development training, such as group backbreaking games.
❤️ I hope these shares are helpful to you! It's a blessing to have a friend like you, wishing you health, happiness and joy!
I am Light Shepherd, the world and I love you!
